I hear this phrase all the time -- all the time!  I even find myself saying this phrase all the time, but am I just shooting myself in my 'Ameri-foot'?

A recent (not necessarily friendly) commenter touted this 'old chestnut' and it got me thinking.  Because I’ve chosen to permanently move to England, should I automatically adopt all of its ways and blend - blend - blend?

Should I do as the Romans do because I moved to Rome?

I did a little research and learned more about where this phrase originated and also discovered some of the most common translations of this phrase (of which there are many).  Here’s a few:

• When you’re elsewhere, then live as they live.
• When visiting a foreign land, follow the customs of those who live in it.
• Don’t set your own rules when you are someone’s guest.

Yes, this is all pretty much par for the course.  But there’s a general theme here and that theme is ‘visiting’.  Although it wasn’t mentioned in every definition that I found, the majority of modern day translations referred to visiting a different culture and adopting their ways.

But I’m not visiting ‘Rome’, I moved to ‘Rome’ (also know as Yorkshire) permanently and I’ve lived here for over 6 years.  Does this phrase still apply to me?  Is it my responsibility to blend like magnolia every day from dawn until sunset? And to walk amongst the Brits undetected, without causing even the slightest stir?

While I might be a little extreme in my opinion – this is how it feels… At least on the tough-homesickness days.

A bit of Roman britain in the town of Bath, England

Let’s revisit these phrases and why the phrase 'When in Rome do as the Roman's do' bugs me.

1. When you’re elsewhere, then live as they live.
I live in a flat, I drink tea, I walk – not doing too badly on this one.  Not to mention (just being pedantic now) I breathe in and out which oxygenates the blood that is pumped around my body by my heart which makes me ‘live as they live’.

2. When visiting a foreign land, follow the customs of those who live in it.
I’m not visiting – I live here.

3. Don’t set your own rules when you are someone’s guest.
Not to be a broken record, but I’m not anyone’s guest – I live in England now, and I deeply suspect that I will for a very long time (maybe forever?)

Think back to the last time you went to stay with a very dear friend for just a little too long.  Now these aren’t just any people, these are people you love very much, people you want to spend lots of time with.  But after however long – three days, a week, two weeks – things change. Not because you like your friends any less, they’re still wonderful!  You’ve just been ‘doing as the Romans do’ for a little too long and you’re tired.  You want a rest and some space - importantly your space.  And not forever, just for a minute, just so you can recharge your batteries and return to your lovely friends fresh-faced and ready for a good time.

That’s why I don’t believe the phrase ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’ really applies to the expatriates.  It puts us in a bit of an impossible ‘pickle’… to use a ‘Roman’ expression.

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Our regular contributor - Annie, blogs about life in England with three other sassy, tell-it-like-it-is-American women, discovering things about the UK and the US that would have never occurred to us if we’d never lived here. Annie [a pseudonym] married an Englishman and lives in Yorkshire. She is a web designer and professional voice-over artist. Republished from Annie's blog -- She's not from Yorkshire.