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You are here: Home Family & Kids Partners Long Distance Relationships
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24/12/2008Long Distance Relationships

Long Distance Relationships With more partnerships between people in Zurich and Geneva, dating professional Trea Tijmens writes about Long Distance Relationships (LDRs).

With the number of matches made between clients in Zurich and Geneva on the rise, I’d like to write about Long Distance Relationships (LDRs). According to Wikipedia, “a long-distance relationship is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance.”

Distance is a relative concept
Clients who are, for example, Canadian or American often report being open to meeting a partner who lives up to a 1.5 hour drive from them. Clients who are not exposed to regularly driving longer distances could define a 1.5 hour distance from a partner as a LDR.

However, we also have an American client who, now that he is in Geneva, loves Switzerland so much that he would like to meet a life partner in the same city. To him even Nyon, a 10-minute train ride from Geneva, now seems too far away.

road

One of the comments we often hear when we propose a match between clients from Geneva or Lausanne and Zurich is that they will only be able to see each other on weekends. This is true; however, we also know many couples who live in the same town, or even under the same roof, who see each other only on weekends due to busy professional lives and heavy travelling.

Maintaining the relationship
I was engaged in 1990 when my fiancé was studying at the ETH (Swiss Federal Institute of Technology) in Zurich, Switzerland and I was finishing up my studies at UC Berkeley in the US. Though it’s hard to believe, there was no email at the time and calling on the phone probably cost USD 3.80 (EUR 2.80) a minute. We used to write letters and send cards.

I remember it felt bizarre seeing each other over the Christmas holiday. We both realised that it was easy to grow apart being so far away with poor communication. That’s when we decided we wanted to be together and get married. Pierre gave up his PhD studies in Switzerland and followed me to Berkeley to do an MBA. Thank you Pierre!

Modern forms of communication

Although you might be able to see each other less frequently than you wish, with modern forms of communication you can connect as frequently as you would like. There is email, mobile phones, text messages, Twitter, Skype, webcams and good old-fashioned snail mail to keep you close while living apart.

I really recommend Skype with webcam. It is very easy to download from the internet (even I could do it!) and it is completely free. I also recommend Twitter, which is free as well, and enables people to keep updated on the little things that make up the day.

Of course there can be circumstances that may make someone less interested in dating someone who lives at a considerable distance, and we completely respect our clients’ wishes in this area. For example, when a client has children in school, meeting someone who lives at a considerable distance as opposed to in the same area could unnecessarily complicate life for him/her.

Going the extra mile

couple smiling

There is more pressure on a first date between clients from Zurich and clients from Geneva or Lausanne. People tend to consider the distance when deciding whether they would like to meet their date again. If they doubt whether their date could be the right person for them, people tend to think that, “he/she is too far away, it will not work”. When, on the other hand, the first meeting is very positive, clients happily go the extra mile for the right partner.

Most people would not like a LDR to continue for too long. At some point in time, the ideal is for the two partners to be together. Even though at the beginning of the LDR it may not be clear how it will happen, if the relationship is strong enough and both partners are motivated to be together, it will happen.

In conclusion

LDRs can be challenging, however, they can work!

It is true that Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) require trust, commitment, excellent communication skills and effort; however, so do relationships of people who live in the same town! A successful Long Distance Relationship should end in the two partners being close to each other. Although it may not be clear from the start how the two partners will be together, where there's a will, there is a way.

Text by Trea Tijmens, from her blog its all about love anyway.




6 reactions to this article

Long Distance Relationships posted: 2009-02-17 23:49:54

Hi there, this is a great article! If you are interested in this tipic, or even better if you are in one, I suggest that you check http://www.waiit.com the Long Distance Relationships community website with advices, forums, success stories, links and much more

lisa posted: 2009-10-02 04:34:44

This article has great ideas and great advice. I was also in a long distance relationship. My partner lived 700km away, but we now live in the same city and are engaged :) LDRs can work. Communication, trust, independence - all these things are important.
www.coupledtogether.com has a great blog for couples in long distance.

Anna posted: 2010-03-23 06:13:21

Hello! I really enjoyed reading you story, it is actually really similar to mine. I am engaged and my fiance and I are in a Long Distance Relationship. It sounds like you had it much harder with not having Skype, or some kind of video chat to communicate. My fiance and I always say we don't know if we could do a LDR with out the amazing technology we have now. I think LDRs are for special people though, I don't think just anyone could do it. Some of things that may the days apart go by faster is watching movies on Skype together. We both got Netflix so we can have "movie date night" via Skype. Thanks for sharing your experience, and insight on LDRs. I like knowing that my fiance and I aren't the only ones going through this. And listening to you story and how it turned out makes me realize it can be done!

Puti Ferguson posted: 2011-08-30 15:28:39

Thanks for great advise.


http://www.facebook.com/Long.Distance.Relationships1

nuri posted: 2013-02-19 03:19:30

Hello!!! I'm Nuri ,, wow this story above seems harder than mine, the story was in 1990 n ya the technology not as good as now, there wasn't skype which is we can see each other face to face, well I'm in Jakarta, Indonesia, my Boyfriend in London which is so far awaya from my place,,, he visits me every summer and ya it's very hard for us, sometimes we argue alot about everything, maybe because we miss each other, but if i compared that story with my story seems mine is easier because we have BBM, Skype, Phone and etc . I hope My LDR will work . wow I have never tried Netflix before, can u guys give me a link about Netflix!!! that's good idea because i will have "movie date night" via Skype.

thx

nisha posted: 2013-08-12 19:54:42

Hi. I'm in desperate need to rope individuals/couples in to my research on long distance dating relationships (individuals who have been in this relationship and then moved closer to be/live together - it doesnt matter if theyre still together or have broken apart) If you are interested or if know of anyone who fits the description of this research, could you please provide me with their contact? its really urgent. Thanks. Please contact me (email: earthenisha@yahoo.com) if you have any suggestions/questions, ASAP. Thanks a lot.

Nisha

6 reactions to this article

Long Distance Relationships posted: 2009-02-17 23:49:54

Hi there, this is a great article! If you are interested in this tipic, or even better if you are in one, I suggest that you check http://www.waiit.com the Long Distance Relationships community website with advices, forums, success stories, links and much more

lisa posted: 2009-10-02 04:34:44

This article has great ideas and great advice. I was also in a long distance relationship. My partner lived 700km away, but we now live in the same city and are engaged :) LDRs can work. Communication, trust, independence - all these things are important.
www.coupledtogether.com has a great blog for couples in long distance.

Anna posted: 2010-03-23 06:13:21

Hello! I really enjoyed reading you story, it is actually really similar to mine. I am engaged and my fiance and I are in a Long Distance Relationship. It sounds like you had it much harder with not having Skype, or some kind of video chat to communicate. My fiance and I always say we don't know if we could do a LDR with out the amazing technology we have now. I think LDRs are for special people though, I don't think just anyone could do it. Some of things that may the days apart go by faster is watching movies on Skype together. We both got Netflix so we can have "movie date night" via Skype. Thanks for sharing your experience, and insight on LDRs. I like knowing that my fiance and I aren't the only ones going through this. And listening to you story and how it turned out makes me realize it can be done!

Puti Ferguson posted: 2011-08-30 15:28:39

Thanks for great advise.


http://www.facebook.com/Long.Distance.Relationships1

nuri posted: 2013-02-19 03:19:30

Hello!!! I'm Nuri ,, wow this story above seems harder than mine, the story was in 1990 n ya the technology not as good as now, there wasn't skype which is we can see each other face to face, well I'm in Jakarta, Indonesia, my Boyfriend in London which is so far awaya from my place,,, he visits me every summer and ya it's very hard for us, sometimes we argue alot about everything, maybe because we miss each other, but if i compared that story with my story seems mine is easier because we have BBM, Skype, Phone and etc . I hope My LDR will work . wow I have never tried Netflix before, can u guys give me a link about Netflix!!! that's good idea because i will have "movie date night" via Skype.

thx

nisha posted: 2013-08-12 19:54:42

Hi. I'm in desperate need to rope individuals/couples in to my research on long distance dating relationships (individuals who have been in this relationship and then moved closer to be/live together - it doesnt matter if theyre still together or have broken apart) If you are interested or if know of anyone who fits the description of this research, could you please provide me with their contact? its really urgent. Thanks. Please contact me (email: earthenisha@yahoo.com) if you have any suggestions/questions, ASAP. Thanks a lot.

Nisha

 
 
 
 
 
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